Forgiveness

When our 18-year-old son’s alcoholism became evident, it was one of many stressors in my husband’s and my marriage. After the initial shock, then began the finger-pointing and blaming. “If only’s” were the topic of many conversations. Of course, we did not agree on the appropriate course of action to take to save our son. Home was a war zone.

Then I found Al-Anon. I learned about the disease of alcoholism, that neither of us had caused it, nor could we control the disease or cure our son. Although he didn’t attend many meetings with me, my husband was always interested in what I was learning. When I started working with a sponsor and focusing on MY life rather than my son’s, I realized that I needed to work on my part, in what was a dysfunctional marriage.

Step Nine was a turning point. I had always been afraid to admit my wrongs. My self-esteem was based on being right, and I thought I would lose status if I admitted I had made a mistake. But the Program was taking root, and one day I apologized to my husband for having done something behind his back that I knew he would not like. His response surprised me. It was as if he had been waiting for those words. He immediately suggested he buy me a gift he thought I would enjoy! My feelings surprised me, too. Rather than feeling less than for admitting my wrong, I felt empowered… and mature!

Recovery in Al-Anon has given me the tools to become a better person. I got to choose to be happy rather than having to be right. My husband and I forgave each other for the past harms we had done to one another and chose to make our relationship as good as we possibly could. It only made sense.

Joyce P.    March 13, 2026

Forgive Stock photos by Vecteezy