I often tell myself and others, “I don’t like change.” I stick with the familiar even though it may not be healthy or good or even working for me, because I know it, and I fear the unknown, the untried. I am not much of a risk taker. The familiar feels safe.
In Al-Anon I learn to “change the things I can” (me), and let go of the things I can’t change (people, places, things and many situations), leaving them to my Higher Power. It frees me to live my life without the weight of trying to do things I can’t really do. I may like to stick to the path I know, but change is inevitable. It is one of the constants in life. Change involves risk – risking what I know for the unknown. Although change can be scary, it can also be exciting, exhilarating, positive, renewing, and growth inspiring. It can bring new purpose and open new opportunities never even dreamt of.
If I am honest, it often isn’t change that I resist; it is someone else making changes that affect me without my participation in the decision, that I resist. When I feel I have a voice in the change, I am not in fear, or at least as much fear. I’m not resisting the change necessarily but resisting someone else affecting my life without my input. I want control of my life.
My husband has learned that I need time to digest and mull over any new changes that affect me: our status quo, our living situation, plans, etc. Generally, my gut reaction to an attempt to change something major in our life together is, “No”. Given time for thought, communication, and sometimes research, I can come around to accepting and even welcoming change but, don’t just tell me this is what we’re changing now. Clear communication of the: “what, whys, and hows” of the change help me move beyond my initial reaction and see things from a new perspective. I want voice in the change.
Besides changes brought about by others, there are all the changes that just happen because we are human beings living our lives: unexpected joys, sorrows, illness, accident, death, aging, etc. I have no control over what changes occur on this path. All I can do is take care of myself the best I can. Resistance is futile. After relishing the joys and grieving the losses, acceptance of reality is the way through for me along with gratitude for what I do have in my life. Acceptance comes with help from my Higher Power and my family and friends. Being loved and loving give me hope I can travel my life path whatever it may be.
God, help me be open and receptive to seeing things from new perspectives, to be willing to learn something new, to accept there are many ways to view a situation and to see that we are all human beings who are sometimes acting out of fear. Help me act out of love for myself and others.
Susan B. September 13, 2025
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