I first heard about Al-Anon seven years ago when, while crying, I asked the substance abuse doctor, “Why is my husband doing this to me? We are supposed to be enjoying our retirement years!” He recommended my husband go into a rehab facility and that I get help from Al-Anon.
I readily agreed, as I was willing to do anything to get my husband to stop drinking. At my first meeting, I discovered no one was talking about how to stop our alcoholics from drinking. Instead, I heard people talking about themselves. I was confused and spent my time at many meetings crying and talking about my husband’s drinking. When I left each meeting, I felt a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders despite the fact that no one offered advice about how to stop my husband’s drinking. I discovered I was not the only one experiencing these same problems. This was why I kept coming back.
When my husband finished rehab, I thought all our problems were over now that he was sober. This did not last long. Unfortunately, he had no desire to find sobriety and felt he had been “forced” into rehab so he continued drinking. Meanwhile I got a sponsor and continued attending Al-Anon meetings. It took many, many months before I learned that the Al-Anon program was about me, not the alcoholic, and how I was affected by my husband’s drinking without ever realizing it. By slowly working on the steps, I found I was acting like everyone’s “Higher Power” knowing what they should or shouldn’t do. With my sponsor’s help, I reconnected with my Higher Power and learned to turn my loved ones’ care over to Him and not interfere. The great acronyms I learned in the meetings helped remind me when it was best to say nothing. The most helpful slogans were: “How Important is it?” and “Let Go & Let God”.
Today my loved one chooses to continue drinking regardless of his health. Thanks to my Al-Anon program, my Higher Power, and my Al-Anon Community, I live a healthy, happy, fulfilling life with my alcoholic. We have a wonderful marriage of 42 years and I pray to my Higher Power that we will have many more.
“I thank God for helping me to find Al-Anon which is showing me the way to a new life.” (ODAT)
Elida P. (September 2022)
PS: It is bittersweet that by the time my share was previously posted in the September-October 2022 Newsletter, my husband lost his battle with this horrible disease. I am just grateful for the gift of Al-Anon.
Elida P. (August 21, 2025)
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