3 H’s

Al-Anon has a lot of slogans and catch phrases to help us remember how to practice the program. For example, there are our “alphabet” reminders.

Recently I was in a meeting where I heard about the 3 H’s: Hurting, Healing and Helping. These words describe how the Al-Anon program works.

Hurting

We come into the rooms hurting from the effect alcoholism has had on our lives. We lament the damage it’s doing to our loved one and feel the pain of having tried – and failed – to save them from themselves. We mourn the loss of the relationship and of our own sense of well-being. Our pain is real and may even be affecting our health. We’ve tried everything we can think of and are desperate. We no longer can live in despair.

Healing

At our first meeting, we hear the stories of others and how they have learned to cope with the disease. Strangers – soon to become friends – speak openly about their struggles and how they have learned to overcome them. We are amazed that there is laughter in the rooms! And we are told that we are loved and encouraged to keep coming back. What we hear gives us hope and a path forward. We are no longer victims but find we have choices. We begin to heal as we find a new way to cope with the effects of alcoholism.

Helping

Al-Anon members do not just find recovery; they also find purpose. Members who practice the program remain in the rooms to be the guides for the newcomers who are seeking help. We take our 12th Step work – to carry the message – seriously. There is no “cure” for either the alcoholic or those affected by the disease, but there is abstinence and emotional sobriety. We give freely what we have been given because this is the best way to continue to enjoy the new life we have found, one that is happy, joyous and free.

Joyce P. (August 14, 2025)