Pre/Post Finding Al-Anon

I dealt for years with the disease of alcoholism and learned all the wrong things to do while loving an alcoholic. Its effect on me was so horrific I became a very angry, lost, and hopeless person. Any conversation with my alcoholic ended up with me just yelling. I lied to friends and family, covering up the issues at home. I thought I was the fixer by finding the bottles, isolating the alcoholic, and taking care of the house. This just led me to lay a heavy guilt trip on my drinker. I began taking my frustrations out on my co-workers. The day finally came when I didn’t want to go home. I was tired of being mad all the time and I realized, I needed help.

Here came Al-Anon to the rescue. Thank God! I found the ad in the “Tri-City Voice,” and went to the website it listed (now https://uc-newark.northernca-al-anon.org/) where I found meeting locations and times. Then I went to a meeting.

First meeting: The people were nice. I felt welcomed and didn’t find the things I needed to fix my alcoholic. Oh, what a newbie!  Second meeting: same kindness and being welcomed. But, I found myself sitting with a group of nice ladies knitting and it just didn’t seem like a fit. To my good fortune, one of the ladies approached me after the meeting and suggested I try the Monday Night Men’s Stag meeting. I owe her a great deal of gratitude, because I found my home group. I’ve been going strong for 6 years now.

The biggest thing I learned up front was, this program is for me. I need to take care of myself first. Hearing that alcoholism was a disease and understanding the Three Cs: “I didn’t Cause it, can’t Control it, and can’t Cure it.”, started my recovery. Later I understood talking to an active alcoholic was talking to the disease not the person, so only in a sober state can we communicate. The setting of boundaries and detaching with love has helped me move on to a better attitude and finding myself again.

There is so much more the program offers. I could go on forever but will end now with the understanding that my Higher Power has led me to today. With the tools in Al-Anon I will maintain my recovery and most importantly “Keep coming back, it works”.

Wishing you the best of days. Eric H. (July 2022)