Am I ready for action? Am I prepared to surrender myself to God’s will and act as if I am who my Higher Power wants me to be? Can I do, be, and believe what my Higher Power wants me to do, be and believe? When I stop asking and thinking, and just listen, what I hear in reply is practice, practice, and practice some more. Accept that I am human. Accept that I make mistakes and that I am where I am supposed to be on this journey. Humans are supposed to make mistakes. It is how we learn. I have more to learn so there will be more mistakes in my future. My Higher Power loves me, all of me. Can I accept myself as I am? Infinite Love help me see who I am and love myself.
While studying and practicing the 12 Steps I find myself revisiting Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. and then Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. What does it mean to be entirely ready? What is humility? What does it mean to be humble? I find myself asking these and many other questions. In my desire to develop a more personal connection with my Higher Power, I keep delving deeper into my practice: praying more, meditating more, studying more, opening myself up to new ways of approaching my program, and practicing asking for help more (so difficult for me to do first instead of last).
I am so grateful to all the people in Al-Anon, to my present sponsor and to those who came before, to my sponsees, family, friends, and strangers who help me practice and progress on this journey of self-discovery and acceptance of my place in the cosmos.
This was not what I thought I was sitting down to write when I wrote the title; it just poured out of me. Your will not mine.
Humility = gratitude.
Susan B. (August 2022)
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