Ten days ago, I left my home. It was suddenly no longer physically or emotionally safe for me to live in my own home. Unfortunately, the police were unable to remove my loved one from the home. When the glass door was broken and threats of physical violence were made, it was time to go.
What do I? How can I leave the house open? Where do I go? What about the dog? What do I pack?
Pause. Breathe. 1st Things 1st. Call and talk with Spirit (The God of my understanding), my sponsor, and a friend, in that order. Spirit infused me with courage, strength and stamina. My sponsor and her husband gave me a shoulder to lean on, emotional support, and practical suggestions. My friend, gave me more emotional support and found a locksmith who would come out that night. We all worked together and the door was temporarily fixed.
Within hours, the house was protected, the dog and I had a place to stay, I was packed with enough clothes and dog food for a few days, and I was on my way to the place that would become my sanctuary for a while.
I am safe. I have everything I need. I am loved. I am doing the next right thing, whether that be going to work, filing a claim with my insurance company, getting a restraining order, talking with my sponsor (a lot); keeping my practice of reading CAL and journaling; going to meetings; and keeping my service commitments.
How can I do this? I am a grateful member of Al-Anon and I work it because I’ve learned that I’m worth it. Before Al-Anon, I might have waited longer to leave, thinking it would get better. Before Al-Anon, I wouldn’t have called anyone, including Spirit, because I would have been ashamed and felt guilty, as if it were my fault. Before Al-Anon, I might have been a different type of statistic.
In Step 1, I learned that I am powerless over situations and other people’s actions. My life can easily become unmanageable when I minimize or deny what’s really happening. I’ve also learned that I am not helpless. I have choices when I keep the focus on me.
Step 2 introduced me to a Power greater than myself who, when asked, can restore me to sanity. Conscious contact, prayer and meditation have helped me identify the choices I do have and figure out what’s the next right step.
In Step 3, I make the decision every day to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand God. I ask Spirit, “What’s next?” regularly. I talk with my sponsor, who helps me reason it out. Sometimes she provides a different perspective or another choice. It feels so good that I don’t have to do this alone.
Al-Anon has taught me to find something positive in every situation. Every morning, I journal a little Thank You note to the Spirit In My Heart for the gifts in my life. Here are some from the last few days.
Good morning, Spirit In My Heart,
- I am grateful that everyone I called answered their phone and came right over last night.
- I am grateful that there was a meeting the next morning.
- How lucky am I that this bed is so comfortable and the birds sing right outside my window?
- I am full of gratitude that the family I am staying with have accepted my dog and me with open arms and don’t treat me like a victim.
- Well, I’ve been wanting to replace that sliding glass door. Guess now is the time.
- I am safe. Thank you, Spirit.
Gratefully, Kim C. (July 2020)
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